Its been so long sinse someone invited me to a cup of coffee. Not those sort that involves several friends, but the ones that are just me and someone else. Its been even longer sinse anyone hugged me, kissed me in the face or even just foundled my hair with tenderness for no reason, just becouse. I dont know.... I mean... i know im not a charming guy, im serious and stubburn all most time. Im not the most handsome eiether, and i aint the smarttest person on earth... but... gods... sometimes i feel like people think im repulsive, that they are scared of me, or simply dont have any respect for me or my feelings at all..

I always been an outcast.. but at least i used to still have a few friends, true friend, that i knew i could count on. Now.. now i can count by the fingers the few people i can trust, and even those i dont trust fully. I dont know... Sometimes i wonder how i allowed my life to end up like this... I just wish there was someone on this god forsaken planet that i could trully call a friend, that didnt kept me any secrets, that actually liked to be with me...

But somehow i feel like im asking for something impossible... they say i HAVE to change... but its not fair... why do i have to be the one changing... so that they dont have to worry or care anymore?... i dont know...

Sometimes i just wish to fade away from all this...